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Ending human civilisation for dummies

Hey, you,

Yes, you,

Yes, you, the person currently reading this

Are you tired of those pesky evangelicals, random hobos in the street, and the “escape the matrix” bros telling you that the end is near?

Are you tired of them feeding you lies?

Are you tired of their incomplete promises?


What if I told you that YOU can bring on the apocalypse?

Again, yes, YOU.

Honestly, I’m done with the “end of the world” nonsense.

Can’t someone please end human civilization as we know it? Every human has been anticipating it like forever.

Have I caught your attention now? Let’s see what you can do to cause the end of the human race as you know it.



SCENARIO 1: NUCLEAR WAR

I think at this point everyone knows that nuclear war is bad, but I think most don’t understand how atrocious a nuclear conflict would be.

But that should be good news for our endeavour. Since some ignorant people do not understand how devastating nuclear war is, we can use that to our advantage to cause some MASS DESTRUCTION.

The first step towards a nuclear war is to create the right political environment for conflict, and fortunately for you, we are currently living in the most politically unstable period of the twenty-first century. Russia and Ukraine have been at odds for over a year; the United States and China are at odds over everything; Kim Jong Un and North Korea are desperately trying to test their toys in a real-life scenario; Taiwan appears to be annexable right now; Xi has noticed; and Europe is now a shambles. Take a look at France, which has been transformed into a Fortnite lobby. You only need to screw one of the world's leaders in the head. I believe one more Kim Jong-un fat joke or tweet will do it.

All of the puzzle pieces are falling into place, and the doomsday clock has never been closer to midnight. At this point, it is safe to assume that we are on the verge of a nuclear war. The human race has never been so close to nuclear war.




So, let us say we were successful! How certain are we that a nuclear war will result in total annihilation? Let us wait and see what happens after the first few nukes go off.

People and their settlements will be destroyed when the first nukes detonate, the targeted area will become a wasteland, and ionising radiation will be spewed everywhere. In the long run, we may succumb to major climatic changes such as nuclear winter, resulting in the deaths of millions from radiation poisoning and many more from the ensuing famines.

It only gets worse (or better in our case because we want the world to end), electromagnetic pulses from nuclear weapons will render all modern forms of communication ineffective. So, Discord and Reddit moderators will have to go outside and touch grass (if they are still alive).

So, yes, starting a nuclear war will almost certainly result in the extinction of humans (and many other living things).



SCENARIO 2: COVID, the sequel

Humans have been fighting diseases since our inception. Disease has killed a large number of people and continues to do so. Even though we have made significant advances in medical technology, an unexpected epidemic can kill a large number of people.

Ebola, HIV, and COVID are all recent examples of what can happen when disease spread is not properly controlled. All we have to do now is find a plague of plagues—a plague capable of destroying civilization as we know it.

That will not be as difficult as you think; we can always make one! For decades, scientists have been experimenting with superbug variants of the world's most lethal pathogens. We just need to create a superbug that spreads so quickly that humans can not keep up. Our civilization-ending pathogen will be a virus, something that spreads as quickly as measles but causes stomach-churning symptoms like Ebola or the Bubonic plague. Scientists created a virus from scratch in two weeks in 2003; with modern technologies, we can create ours even faster.

After creating the virus, we must begin spreading it. Because the virus, like measles, is airborne, we can plant patient zero of our illness in the world's most densely populated cities, allowing it to spread quickly. I propose the following cities:

  1. New York City, Mexico City, Los Angeles and Toronto for North America

  2. Sao Paulo, Rio de Janeiro, Bogota, Santiago and Buenoaires for South America

  3. Berlin, Moscow, London, Istanbul, St Petersburg and Madrid for Europe

  4. Guangzhou, Tokyo, Delhi, Shanghai, Seoul, Jakarta and Tehran for Asia

  5. Lagos, Dar es Salaam, Cairo, Kinshasa, Luanda and Johannesburg for South Africa

  6. Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and Perth for Oceania


After the patients are placed in each city, the virus should spread, wreak havoc, and kill economies. Fingers crossed, it beats even the Bubonic plague’s numbers.


SCENARIO 3: CLIMATE CHANGE

This is the simplest scenario for me to implement because humanity has been contributing to climate change since the industrial revolution. You do not have to do much in this scenario because it is already happening.

The world has been experiencing extreme heat waves, the ocean is turning green, polar bears are losing their territories, floods are increasing year after year as sea level rises, and wildfires barely make the news these days. Climate change is already taking place, and humans are driving themselves to extinction.

To make matters worse, challenge Taylor Swift to see who can emit the most CO2 from private jets, and everything will fall into place.

This is the most straightforward.


CODA

I have not gone insane, and I do not intend to seriously end human civilization. I wanted to write a post about the greatest threats to human civilization, but it was too boring, so I spiced it up.

I was watching a video on the science YouTube channel Kurgesagt when I came across one statement that really struck me. "Humans are always living as if it is the end of the world," the line goes, and it is true. Humans live in a hedonic state; we did not evolve with the ability to see the long term, and this flaw in our design is now coming back to bite us.

All of the scenarios I discussed today are ones that I am personally terrified of, and the worst part is that they are highly likely to occur. Humans' constant focus on now rather than later may lead to the demise of our civilization; all of our hard work and progress may end up as a rumble in the coming decades.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and please do not attempt to do anything mentioned in it.



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